So what about same sex marriage? How should we respond to the popular ideology surrounding same sex marriage? We certainly need to have an opinion on such a matter. But it ought to be an opinion that is shaped, not as a result of extreme fundamentalism, popular culture or red-necked rhetoric, but by a clear understanding of the scriptures. So what does God’s Word say about this practice? How should we respond as Jesus people to this hot potato that is currently being debated?

I’m not sure if you’ve been following the topic closely but the debate surrounding same sex marriage is certainly gathering momentum. Why is that? While the definition of marriage is clearly defined in the Australian Marriage Act as the 'union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life' there is a strong push for this definition to be adjusted.

The Greens’ Marriage Equality Amendment Bill 2010 was reintroduced into the Senate on September 29^th, 2010 for the purpose of replacing the current definition of marriage with, ‘the union of two people, regardless of their sex, sexual orientation or gender identity, to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.’

In response to this, the Australian Labor Party supported a Greens motion calling on all Parliamentarians, “consistent with their duties as representatives, to gauge their constituents’ views on ways to achieve equal treatment for same sex couples including marriage.”

While the Prime Minster has made it quite clear that she does not intend to change the wording of the Marriage Act, the ALP have indicated that they will be discussing and debating this issue in early December at their Labor National Conference. And as such, they have signaled their intentions to allow their own Members of Parliament to have a conscience vote on any debate regarding equal treatment of same sex couples and the issue of marriage.

A Community Response:

This decision has sparked some intense debate even in our own local community. Let me show you a couple of examples found in the Bendigo Advertiser.

"... Mr Gibbons, you must know that a clear majority of Australians, from both regional and urban communities - more than 70 per cent - want an end to the unconscionable discrimination and vilification of our fellow citizens on the basis of their sexuality, based on the outrageously ignorant and divisive beliefs and doomsday prophecies of a homophobic, conservatively religious minority..."

n response to another article entitled ‘Marriage Equality A Fair Go for All Australians’ one person made the comment, "Yet again you have it wrong...The Christian faith rejects absolutely no one. It is built completely around love for every human being. It is the greatest commandment to love one another. That is not to be confused with disagreeing with their behaviour. This goes for everyone no matter how hard it may be some times..."

And in response to that opinion, someone said, "Well done... You illustrate my point of view and experience of the Christian faith very well - the Christian faith loves only those it chooses to love - the rest can go to hell, despite the fact that they are created in His image and 'loved'. If ever there was an institution with a warped and corrupted grasp upon the phenomena of human love, it has to be traditional religion..."

Sadly, any conversation on this topic has also polarized Christian camps. On one side of the Christian camp you have the progressive loving Christians, who know homosexuals, and take seriously the command of Christ to love and thereby accept homosexual people and their practices. And on the other side, you have the more conservative fundamentalists, who have little or no connection with homosexuals, and see it as their responsibility to defend the faith by rejecting homosexuals and all of their practices.

What is the right response? How should we as Christ-followers respond to this issue of same sex marriage? Should we simply pick one of the above camps or is there a better and more biblical response? Let’s take a few minutes to look at the biblical expression of sexuality and see what we can deduce about marriage.

A Biblical Story about Marriage:

In any conversation about same sex relationships, a good starting point is located in the historical creation accounts located in the book of Genesis. In Genesis 2:18-25 we find some guidelines for all marriages, not just the first one.

¹⁸ The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” ¹⁹ Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. ²¹ So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. ²² Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. ²³ The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” ²⁴ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. ²⁵ Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Gen 2:18-25)

It appears that God had some big dreams and ideals for marriage. According to God, marriage was meant to be a loving, exclusive, permanent and intimate relationship. Let’s have a brief look at these beginning with God’s ideal of marriage being a loving relationship.

Loving Relationship:

In Genesis 1, there is a phrase that is used over and over again. It’s the phrase ‘And God saw that it was good.’ (vv. 4, 10, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31) However, in the passage we read a moment ago, we suddenly find God saying, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ (Genesis 2:18) Who would be the suitable helper in this loving relationship? God determined it would be a woman!

Exclusive Relationship:

According to this historical account, marriage was also meant to be an exclusive relationship between a husband and a wife. In Genesis 2:24a we read, ‘That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife…’ Leaving our parents does not mean that we should completely cut all contact with family but rather, we leave behind the parent-child dependence and we forge an exclusive relationship with our spouse.

While the input of parents into the lives of their married children can still be appropriate and appreciated, the husband and wife relationship is uniquely designed by God to be an exclusive relationship. Some people get married and they bring their father, mother and siblings into the relationship – a recipe for disaster. A classic example of that is seen on the TV show, ‘Everybody Loves Raymond.’ We laugh at the antics of this show but sadly, this is the way some families operate. Marriage was meant to be an exclusive relationship between two people.

Permanent Relationship:

This historical biblical passage also reminds us that marriage was meant to be a permanent relationship that ideally, could only be dissolved by death. In Genesis 2:24 we read, ‘That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.’ The Hebrew word for ‘united’ literally means to be ‘glued or bonded together.’ God intended marriage to be a life-long bond and this explains why Jesus said, ‘What God has joined together, let man not separate.’ (Matt. 19:9) Today more marriages might end in divorce than death, but, as Jesus said, ‘It was not this way from the beginning.’ (Matt. 19:8)

While the bible does grant an exception to the no-divorce rule (Deut 24:1-4), God’s intention and ideal longing for marriage was one of permanence. Marriage is a covenant (Proverbs 2:17; Ezekiel 16:8; Malachi 2:14), a promise that we will love and cherish our husband or wife, for better or for worse (hopefully for better), till death do us part. It’s a promise that we not only make to our spouse on the day of our wedding but also, to God Himself.

Intimate Relationship:

Finally, the biblical account also tells us that marriage was meant to be an intimate relationship. At the end of our passage we read these words about Adam and Eve, ‘The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.’ (Genesis 2:25).

Marriage was meant to be a loving, exclusive, permanent and intimate relationship. Since the beginning of time, this has been God’s dream and ideal for a man and a woman.

Same Sex Marriage - A Biblical Response:

So how should we, as Christ-followers, respond to the current debate raging about same sex marriage in Australia? In light of what I’ve just discussed, let me share with you a couple of thoughts that might help us deal with this important subject.

First, we need to recognize that the Christian view of sexuality and marriage is not universally shared by Australians. Most will agree with parts of the Christian view, including that marriage is for a man and a woman, but many do not feel compelled to live out the full Christian meaning of marriage. The Christian view is counter-cultural.

But in saying that, it certainly doesn’t mean that you and I cannot hold and graciously express a different opinion of what we believe is ideal. Expressing a counter opinion to those endorsing same sex relationships does not mean we are narrow minded and outrageously ignorant bigots. Just as my willingness to address greed and poverty does not make me a raving communist, so to my opinions on same sex relationships does not make me a wacky, self-righteous homophobic.

Second, we need to lift high and commit ourselves to living by God’s ideals when it comes to our sexual life and marriage. While the bible celebrates everything good about marriage it also depicts how our sexuality and hence marriage relationships have been tragically affected by sin. Like a virus, sin has impacted and corrupted every area of our lives – even our own sexuality.

While the bible does mention that homosexuality is a sin (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9), let’s not forget the fact that it also speaks against a wide range of sexual sins including adultery (Deuteronomy 22:13-21), prostitution (Deuteronomy 23:17; Leviticus 19:29; 1 Corinthians 6:15-16) and any other sexual activity that falls outside of marriage (Mark 7:21; Acts 15:20; Romans 13:13; 1 Corinthians 7:2; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3).

And just in case you or I might be tempted to think a little self-righteously about this subject, don’t forget that we’re not immune from the clutches of sexual sin. You and I need to keep our eyes on Christ so that our sexual behavior reflects the ways of God.

Third and finally, we need to keep careful watch over our own attitudes when discussing important topics such as this. Instead of swinging to the extremes lets model our lives on Christ who loved the person but yet at the same time held up God’s ideals for life. (John 8:1-9)